Signs you may be Canadian, Part 2


Signs You May be Canadian
(an unending list)
Part 2

  • This doesn't bother you at all.
  • You can still whistle the theme to "The Forest Rangers".
  • Whenever you hear the word "car", you have to stop yourself from involuntarily reaching back for a hockey net.
  • You remember when Alanis Morisette was "Too Hot To Hold" and only went by the name "Alanis".
  • You send angry letters to the CBC demanding the return of the "Hinterland Who's Who" spots so you can finally find out what happens to the arctic ptarmigan in winter.
  • You participate in "Participaction". At least, until you fall down laughing when you think of how your hair is getting "sweat-EE and out-of-CONtrol".
  • You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale, "What's good enough protection for the Prime Minister is good enough for me".
  • You really miss the ongoing saga of Jacques and William. Did they ever escape those soldiers? And what about the girls? Strangely, just thinking about it makes me thirsty...
  • You wonder if you're the only one who would like see Ralph Benmergui and Ian Hanomansing team up and become the new Wayne and Schuster. (Commentators on CBC)
  • Unlike any international assassin/terrorist/spy in the world, you don't possess a Canadian passport.
  • You spend hours in the dark, making scale models of the Avro Arrow and cursing the Diefenbaker government.
  • You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize" and "no sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
  • You have more than 3 friends named Gordon.
  • You know why "killerwhaletank" is funny.
  • You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
  • You wonder idly if there is some government coverup of a covert operation behind shifting the shooting location of "X Files" from British Columbia to California, but you're far too apathetic to do anything about it anyway, though it was nice seeing some of the old "Beachcombers" cast getting some TV work now and then.
  • You hum David Foster's '88 Calgary Olympics theme in the shower.
  • You make up patriotic lyrics to go along with David Foster's '88 Calgary Olympics theme.
  • You cried when Gus "drowned" on Road To Avonlea.
  • You think there isn't enough of Peter Gzowski to go around.
  • You think "Ed the Sock" is funny.
  • You watch MuchMusic constantly, in the hopes of occasional fleeting glimpses of The Tragically Hip.
  • You can sing "O' Canada" in French and actually know what the words mean!
  • You advocate the abolition of responsible government, in favour of monarchist rule.
  • You think there isn't enough Queen on our currency.
  • You think Peter Mansbridge is sexy.
  • You think Lloyd Robertson is sexy.
  • You think Peter Kent is sexy.
  • You think Brad Pitt is so-so.
  • You stood in line for hours for Another Roadside Attraction tickets.
  • You killed your best friend for Another Roadside Attraction tickets.
  • You think Great Big Sea isn't Maritime-centric enough.
  • Your graduation formal dress was made of flannel.
  • You know the names of all the guys in Sloan.
  • You still haven't taken down your "NON" posters from the 95 Referendum.
  • You had a crush on Joey Jeremiah from Degrassi Junior High.
  • You actually watch The Gemini Awards, The Genie Awards, and The Juno Awards. You wonder why Stompin' Tom doesn't get his own category in all three. You scream passionately at the television when your favourite Canadian performers are overlooked by their respective academies.
  • You think -10 C is mild weather.
  • You have twins named Donovan and Bailey.
  • You have twins named Wayne and Gretzky (alternately Gordie and Howe).
  • You know the ingredients for poutine.
  • You read rather than scanned this list.
  • You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Canadian friends.

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