The Following Were Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers:
*** FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.***
***FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL - 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG.***
***FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG.***
***FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT...BEEN OUT AWHILE.. BETTER BE REWARD.***
***1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer.***
***SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.***
***2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15.***
***TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, L 5, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800.***
***COWS FOR SALE. NEVER BRED CALVES. ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.***
***FULL SIZED MATTRESS.20 YR. WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.***
***NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY.***
***BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS".***
***HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"***
***MEETING: HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB.***
***GEORGIA PEACHES CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.***
***NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED -USED ONCE.***
***TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.***
***EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.***
***OUR SOFA WILL SEAT THE WHOLE MOB. 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.***
***JOINING NUDIST COLONY! SELLING WASHER & DRYER $300.***
***ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.***
***OPEN HOUSE BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON FREE COFFEE DONUTS.***
***FOR SALE BY OWNER COMPLETE SET OF ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA. 45 VOLUMES EXCELLENT CONDITION. $1,000.00 NEGOTIABLE. NO LONGER NEEDED. RECENTLY MARRIED; WIFE KNOWS EVERYTHING.***